Delibrate and Deep, I can't take this deeper panic.

Sometimes I think that I have made a mistake. Other times I can't believe how lucky I am. "It's the little things." they say. The big picture may be grand, but the little things add up. Is this all nonsense? Am I simply looking for a reason? Anything to shake me awake because I must be dreaming. Disjointed I've become disenchanted. Every day of silence is another crack in the illusion that I have built so carefully. I know you are trying but I can't take much more.