Thanksgiving.
The day of the year we are supposed to reflect on what we are thankful for. Everyone's posting their Happy thanksgiving...I'm thankful for... as their facebook status. Television airtime is taken up by sappy thanksgiving or even Christmas movies. and of course, football. What am I thankful for? I'm thankful for having a roof over my head. For having roommates who put up with my shit. Mostly because I try to stay out of their hair, and rent is cheaper with more of us here. What else? "Friends" Who don't really like me, who talk so much shit behind my back it's almost unbearable. The ones who are real friends have moved on to bigger and better things, leaving me behind. Family who only pretend to care to keep up the fucking illusion. When really they, a lot like the "friends" think that I'm a fuck up to say the least. Sometimes I wonder what they would do if I disappeared. I really don't think that anyone would notice, until rent time came around. Maybe when I didn't show up for work, for a couple of days. one of my favorite websites is becoming an archive. It's fitting really the one thing I turned to when I didn't think I could hack it anymore, the people who without even knowing it, kept me going for a little longer, ceases to exist. I can still go back to the old stand by. It's just not the same. Things are changing for better or for worse. I fear it's for the worse not the better. I can feel myself sinking further. And I still haven't learned to swim.
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