A moment of clarity.

It all makes sense now. On one hand I don't think you were lying. You got the attention and the distance you wanted without complaint. Maybe you payed more attention than I gave you credit for. It could just be my sleep deprived brain grasping at anything that would show me the truth. Struggling to find some answer. You knew. You knew what most wouldn't pay much attention to. Maybe you needed it too. You gave me what I wanted. But yet it was you who I blamed. I wanted this. I begged for it. It wasn't anyone's fault really. There was nothing to be faulted for. Twisted some may say but that doesn't make the need any less urgent.